HANDS ACROSS THE SEA DEPT.
“There’ll always be an England, where there’s a country lane…” and an idiot at the top doing his best to wreck it. The Whirligig Of Time has officially announced the world has new champion British Failure of All Time, Boris Johnson.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/boris-johnson-warns-u-k-must-prepare-no-deal-brexit-n1243704
Quoth the Whirligig of Time: “Even in a nation historically famous for its ability to turn abject failures into left-handed victories, there exists a Rogues Gallery of national failures so humiliatingly utter, as to command a kind of reverent memory, for just how stupid and hapless and clueless mankind can be. Even non-Brits can find these calamitous national tragedies amusing; in fact, Boris Johnson beat the reigning winner back into the loser-dom of second-banana: that long-popular favorite pantomime loser-villain, Capt. Hook:”
“My lords, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Boris Johnson, greatest British failure of all, Minister of Catcalls, Earl of Whistles, Laird of Hootsanhollars, rightwise heir to the Brickbat, and by grace of Hisownself, without the slightest help from Divine Providence, the greatest failure since King Cnut failed to turn the tides; Greater than King Harald Godwinson, who let in the Normans when his mail coat let in a Norman arrow:”
“Greater a failure than King John Lackland, who lost France, was excommunicated, and forced by his revolted barons to sign Magna Carta:
Boris Johnson is officially more pathetic than Lady Jane Grey, the ‘Nine Days’ Queen.’
And since he believes nothing, he’s more vile than Guy Fawkes, who at least believed in his murderous cause:
Greater a prick than King Charles I; Greater even, than Charles’s royal evil smarter son, King James II.
“Just fucking die” were the last words he heard. 
You know how to row, don’tcha, Majesty? You were once Foist Lo’d of the Admiralty! Ha ha ha.
Johnson is a greater a calamity for Britain than the Darien Scheme, or the South Sea Bubble.
More shameless a media-whore than Bonnie Prince Charlie, and even less able to deliver on his promises, and equally feckless of the consequences for posterity:
More disastrously out-of-touch with the needs of the people than King George III:
Greater a boob, more useful a tool for Fascism than Sir Neville Chamberlain…
…is Britain’s new worst failure, Boris Johnson. Now let the Whirligig of Time, bring in his revenges.”
The Valley Village View 