Kas-ele-wu, in Bloom, in Gloom

Early August brought foggy foggy gloom, so I hied me out to the West Valley, to Calabasas, to El Escorpion Park, which was known to the Chumash as Kas-ele-wu, Swordfish-God Peak.

It’s a tiny vest-pocket park in L.A., right on the Ventura County border, but it was once the center of an Indian-owned rancho called “El Escorpion,” on a site where the Chumash had long had a town and a holiday resort. The sacredness is palpable here.

The Elye-wun were the ancient Swordfish-Men, a cantankerous, gut-stuffing brotherhood of fishermen who lived at the bottom of the sea just off the coast. If tricked or bargained with, or following their own gluttonous hunt, the greasy, bloody-mawed Elye-wun would drive pods of whales up onto shore at Malibu, where the Chumash gratefully kindled roasting fires on the beach. The Elye-wun would heave whales out of the waves on the points of their “gaffes” which were of course their headspikes, idealized as huge manual harpoons.

Almost as sharp, is the pungent fragrance of the vinegarweed. This is a handsome native plant, with beautiful green awl-shaped leaves and nice purple flowers. It is a starter in disturbed areas, such as the sides of cleared trail cuts. I’d never come across it before, but the not-unpleasant dill-vinegar-chip odor in the grass was a dead giveaway.


The harbinger of the Elye-wun’s hunt was the coastal fog, when their great long white beards hung over the mountains. For this reason, on a day like today, Kas-ele-wu was full of Big Medicine. Below: white sage, buckwheat; white sagebrush and chamise; oaks and a young sycamore. Biggest medicine of all, of course, is momoy, datura, moonflower, the central ritual hallucinogen of the local religion.

There were bush mallows everywhere along the creek, beautiful as flowers in a storybook. Their burst into lavender cups of glory, and their withering to a desiccated brown shrivel, is a potent Memento Mori. A whole bank of them got draped this year with a noisome net of chaparral dodder — yecch.

There were powerful shamans here, including Munitz. Kas-ele-wu was a center of the ?antap cult of aristocratic ancestral dances, ceremonies and datura ingestion. The shamans from here nurtured the Chinigchinich religion down in the cosmopolitan Valley below, at Siutcanga and Achoicomenga. The bowl was a place of pilgrimage especially at the Winter Solstice. But I can’t imagine this place is more beguiling than it is now, in August. Look at the reds.

The uplifted crags are full of clefts and caves. My guess is, the south-facing Munitz’s Cave is suffused with a very intense sunbeam, maybe around noon on the Solstice.

On the other hand, the Chumash were great star-watchers, and it is probable that there was some phenomenon of the constellations dramatically apparent there. I Meanwhile, the constellations in the tall grass were the finest stars one could wish.

Who Said It?

BRAIN TEASERS DEPT.

The Founding Fathers believed it was important to keep our passions at bay, and I agree. My seething passions these days are mostly Sputtering Rage, Blank Despair, quite a bit of Cynicism; awful Cosmic Guilt; the real devil, Drunken Folly; Futile Disappointment; Infantile Loneliness; and a background of sheer thwarted middle-aged masculine head-pounding Aggression.

I know we all feel that way. Each of us in our little boxes. I wonder if the cats hate us.

To fight the Onyourownavirus Blues, I’m posting some quotes, fun, historic, maybe familiar, but the idea is to cool the passions, by trying to guess Who Said It?

“Kill them all. God will know his own.” (“Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius”)

— Command given, at the siege of Beziers in 1209, to slaughter all inhabitants because some were heretics. But Who Said It? Half a point if you can guess the normal occupation or profession, and a full point for the Order, of the part-time soldier who uttered it.

“Liquidate labor, liquidate stocks, liquidate the farmers, liquidate real estate. Purge the rottenness out of the system. High costs of living and high living will come down. … enterprising people will pick up the wrecks from less competent people.”

— Advice given to Pres. Hoover at the start of the Depression. This advice was followed. But Who Said It?

“I’m rrich! I’m RRICH!! RRich, d’ ye hearr, rrich, rrich, rrich, rrich, RRICH!!””

— The reaction of a world-famous tycoon, already a multi-millionaire, at the height of the Gilded Age, upon reading in the newspaper that a penny stock he recently picked, had just bubbled. Reportedly, the silk-topped tycoon accompanied his sing-song outburst by doing a most undignified little “Happy Dance” down Fifth Avenue. But Who Said It?

“It’s time the elephants started paying their own way.”

— U.S. policy on de-funding the international trade in ivory, as outlined in a press conference given by a U.S. Interior Secretary in the first Reagan cabinet. Nearly forgotten now, except by the View, who watched it uttered on the TV as a mere stripling….and I remember because it dislocated my jaw….but Who Said It?

“300 years of Romanovs! Why not 300 more?”

— Uttered, with disgust, to an eye-rolling spouse, in May of 1913, upon reading in the papers about the celebration of the tercentenary of Russia’s imperial dynasty. But Who Said It? Bonus point — the spouse’s name?

“The good Earth — we could have saved it, but we were too damn cheap and lazy.”

— From a 2005 essay collection, ‘A Man Without A Country’ by a famous American novelist. Who Said It?

Answers below, Patient Reader, in the hash-tags. You could write to let me know how you did. If this kind of game succeeds in cheering anybody up, I might promote the whole Dept. If not — that’s your can, that’s the street; put it there, ya no-good bums….

‘Heave Awa’ Lads, I’m No’ Deid Yet’

UPDATE: I posted this yesterday afternoon and then opened the news, and saw the horrible scenes from Beirut. I deleted the post from sensitivity to the disaster. But today, Damon convinced me that, in a sorry world, this story of perseverance and community is not out of place.

JUNIOR YEAR ABROAD DEPT.

My reminiscences of Embro of late, were sparked by this marvelous, rather grisly book Mom and Dad presented to me last Christmas. One chapter tells in gruesome detail, of the Legend of Old Paisley Close. (That’s Joseph McIver’s bonny heid, in the keystone on the cover.)

1861 — an ancient tenement on the High Street collapsed. It was built with heavy stacked stones laid into a frame of medieval timbers from the Burgh Muir. After 300 years, the beams had dry-rotted through to the attics, which teetered 85 feet above the Royal Mile. It was home to that many families. Some, few, survived. The shocking episode prompted a wave of urban reform in Edinburgh that culminated with Provost Thomas Chambers’s landmark 1867 plan for almost complete civic renewal. In a sad way, it was the reaction to this tenement’s collapse, that led to Edinburgh’s status as an UNESCO World Heritage Site today.

The words of one survivor of the disaster were so inspiring, that they were engraved, with the heroic lad’s fair effigy, on the arch above the re-built New Paisley Close.

Reading about the story inspired me to write a parlor song about this romantic spot, which I View’d so often in my youth, and which, equally with Greyfriars’ Bobby, has become an emblem of Edinburgh’s heart and spirit. Because, Patient Reader, writing out the sheet-music in Finale (#$!) will take a while, I’ll append just the lyrics for now. I think it will make a jolly good pub song, if pubs, or singing, are ever allowed back. The book explains the controversy over the actual words of the boy. I solved the problem by giving the main and last choruses to the Lads, leaving the Boys and Chaps to the internal choruses.

THE LEGEND OF OLD PAISLEY CLOSE

‘Twas laigh in a chilly November
Out late on a Saturday night
Police Sergeant Rennie was walking his beat,
A shade in the High Street lamplight.
Just as he saunters by old Paisley Close,
He turns to consider the life that he chose.
Across to Blackfriars, 
To gaze at the spires,
When Paisley expires in a ghastly implos-
ion…..!

The folk of the Auld Toun of Embro,
Came running to weep o’er the heap.
The tenement walls were a torture of rubble,
A sepulcher twenty yards deep.
Raw hope to think there could be a survivor — 
Saw, rope and muscle might find some alive.
From the timbers and soot,
A bonny wee foot,
Thrust out, bare and bootless: “‘Tis Joseph McIv-
er!….”

That moment is braw to remember,
As out of the burying cairn,
A voice full of cheer piped up bright and clear,
the cry of a half-grown-up bairn:

“HEAVE AWA’ LADS, I’M NO’ DEID YET,
Broke stanes, and broke banes, can a’ be re-set.
Ply lever, saw, adze, maul, pulley and net, 
But HEAVE AWA’ LADS, I’M NO’ DEID YET!”

The men felt their faint hearts grow bolder,
They cut through the rotten old beam
Sae sairly laint aboon young Joey’s shoulder,
An’ each time they’d falter, he’d scream:

“HEAVE AWA’ CHAPS, I’M NO’ DEID YET,
When she’s a’ re-brigged, our flat’s no’ to let.
Wha’d guessed she’d collapse? ‘Twill a’ be forget,
But HEAVE AWA’ CHAPS, I’M NO DEID YET!”

Joey’s wee foot had turned white with the night,
His holler had ceased by the dawn’s creeping light. 
The men took a pause, 
And put doon their saws
Faith lost in their cause, till a faint voice wheezed “RIGHT:

HEAVE AWA’ BOYS, I’M NO’ DEID YET,
Me Auntie in Leith would be sorry upset.
She’ll mak’ us a’ porridge wi’ raisins I bet, if ye’ll
HEAVE AWA’ BOYS, I’M NO’ DEID YET!”

“HEAVE AWA’ LADS, I’M NO’ DEID YET,
Broke stanes, and broke banes, can a’ be re-set.
Ply lever, saw, adze, maul, pulley and net, 
But HEAVE AWA’ LADS, I’M NO’ DEID YET!”

— Andrew Martin, “The Legend of Old Paisely Close,” all rights reserved.

Whatever Happened To Baby Norah?

Public adulation is fickle. Ito remains on everybody’s minds, with his very public struggles and shenanigans; while Norah, retired to the casual pace of the SFV, is almost forgotten. But Norah and Ito are siblings, and share the family cleverness and cuteness. They were named for the stalwart servants of Auntie Mame. Inseparable as kitties, yin and yang, the Sweethearts of Magnolia Blvd., Two Kitty Cats Cute, they still sleep together in Venn diagrams.



As Norah has grown…stouter…she has cut down on cutting up for the cameras. It was a heartbreaking day when she couldn’t really fit on her sweet tuffet. Lately, we’ve had to get her an old steamer trunk to sprawl on instead, when she takes the breezes.

She has little of Ito’s drive, his desperate need for connection and notice and social relevance and praise. Still, when called upon, she’s got no problem sharing the spotlight, though she leaves the highest perches for Ito to conquer. Here, though, Norah managed to trick Ito into believing that the ironwood dolphins were tuna. It was a pretty hilarious gag, she kept him at it for ten minutes until he caught on.

She’s certainly still got “It,” but the lure of being cute for cute’s sake, has faded. Keeping her splendid coat otter–pelt soft and well-sunned, is her only concession to the old glamour days — when she was the “Girl on the Red Satin Tuffet.”